In an open relationship, both partners agree to engage in sexual or romantic intimacy with other people. You must establish rules and boundaries, be honest about your needs, and maintain clear communication for an open relationship to work. Find out what you need to know about open relationships between swinger couples and how to maintain a healthy relationship.

In what sense is an open relationship defined?

Each partner in an open relationship is free to see other people. According to Chris Leeth, Ph.D., LPC-S, a professor of counselling at the University of Texas at San Antonio, this can take the form of sexual or emotional intimacy.

Unlike cheating or having affairs, open relationships begin with an agreement between everyone involved. According to Leeth, a relationship is formed by both partners being aware of its nature and accepting it.

In open relationships, there are rules, boundaries, and expectations that determine what each partner is comfortable with, Leeth says. Some couples in open relationships agree only to date strangers, while others are free to explore partnerships with friends.

There are many people who don’t realize right away that they want an open relationship. In Leeth’s view, the person finds himself stifled and annoyed. However, he also wants to be a part of the relationship.

When you or your partner have needed that the other cannot meet, frustration can begin. You can explore your sexuality or connect emotionally with others by opening up your relationship. 

An open relationship: how to make it work for swinger couples

Maintaining an open relationship might need to make some adjustments. You and your partner can make it work by following these tips:

• Defining the relationship’s rules and boundaries

An open relationship can only exist when both partners agree to the boundaries and expectations.

Leeth emphasizes that there is no concrete, right-and-wrong set of boundaries. Couples may have different limits that work best for them. Some couples decide outside relationships should only be sexual, while others are open to emotional connections.

• Clarify your communication

The more open a relationship is, the more critical that all expectations and boundaries are crystal clear, Leeth says.

Nobody can read minds; if you want something, you must articulate it,” Leeth says. If you feel jealous about a new partner, you should tell your partner about it rather than hide your feelings.

You may need to adjust your relationship if you conceal information or feelings from your partner.

It can be challenging for some couples to adjust to this level of communication. You can improve your listening skills and practice open communication by seeing a couple’s therapist.

• Honesty is the most effective policy

Being honest about your feelings is essential to maintaining a healthy open relationship. Leeth says you may believe you won’t mind if your partner interacts with others, but when it actually happens, you may find yourself heartbroken.

In many cases, one partner wants to see other people while keeping their current relationship, and the other agrees with them, Leeth says.

Your open relationship probably won’t be healthy if you only agree to it because you don’t want to lose your partner.

Leeth suggests being brutally honest with yourself about whether you are on board.

• Establish safety guidelines

It is imperative to consider how you will manage birth control and prevent sexually transmitted infections if you intend to have sex with other people.

Every person entering a relationship increases the risk, and each partner should have a plan.

When you have sex with someone other than your partner, you might agree to use condoms. If you’re concerned about getting pregnant through an outside relationship, you may use a backup form of birth control, such as the pill.

• Keep regular check-ins.

It’s difficult to predict precisely what situations and emotions might arise when starting a new relationship. Therefore, regular check-ins are needed to determine how things are going.

During check-in, you can share your thoughts and feelings and decide whether your rules and boundaries need to be updated. If you start by allowing sexual and emotional connections with others, you may later find that only sexual relationships are comfortable.

Set a schedule for these conversations, such as once a month or every other week. Staying consistent and dealing with issues as they arise is easier this way.

An insider’s perspective

Those who want to be together and see other people may want to consider an open relationship.

A healthy open relationship requires open communication, honesty, and safety. 

In order to set healthy boundaries and practice communication, you may find it helpful to see a couple’s therapist if you encounter any issues in your relationship.